A Journey of Pain and Inspiration
The Injury
2012 was the year that changed my life. I was injured in a work-related accident and my foot was badly crushed. In the years that followed, I had multiple surgeries in an effort to repair my foot and alleviate the nerve pain that was beginning to be a constant feature of my limb. Not only were the surgeries unable to repair the functionality of my foot, but after each procedure, the nerve pain increased exponentially. It began to spread up my leg. After years of unbearable nerve pain, I was diagnosed with a chronic nerve condition known as Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (CRPS).
The Amputation
With the pain getting worse I was spiraling into a deep depression. Then, in 2018, there was a glimmer of hope. I met a doctor that gave me a 98% chance of being completely pain-free if I elected to have my foot amputated. I felt that the only real option was to move forward with the procedure. Let’s just say, it did not turn out as I had anticipated. The amputation threw gas on an already blazing fire. The nerve condition spread quickly; first into my left hand, then up to my left bicep, my stomach, and my chest. It spread so aggressively that I had to get clearance from my surgeon before getting my teeth cleaned because they were worried about the condition spreading into my jaw. My doctors were saying that they were sorry and were preparing me for the CRPS to continue to spread. Not only that, but because of the intensity of the pain, I was unable to wear a prosthetic. The helplessness that I felt was unlike anything I can describe.
I would have been confined to a wheelchair or crutches had it not been for an amazing company, iWalk, that provided me with a knee crutch. I regained just enough mobility to provide some stability for lower-impact exercise. I decided to focus on what I could control: my level of physical activity, nutrition, and most importantly, my attitude toward the situation. I made the decision to make fitness a priority. I was determined to make friends with my pain and to use it as fuel.
The Uphill Journey
As I learned to use the pain to push me forward, I began weight lifting and competing in various adaptive athletic competitions on my iWalk. I placed 1st in a Regional CrossFit competition, climbed Diamondhead Crater in Hawaii, competed in the world Para Spartan race, and completed my first open water swim with CAF in 2019. Around this time, I was told about a doctor in Oklahoma who may be able to help me. I flew to see him and was told that I had the most aggressive case of CRPS he'd seen. However, he thought he could help me alleviate some of the pain. He suggested the Ertl Procedure to stabilize the bottom of my limb and targeted muscle reinnervation (TMR) surgery to remap the nerves in my leg. I decided to move forward with his suggestion and traveled from California to Oklahoma for another surgery.
The Revision & Reinnervation
As timing would have it, my surgery was scheduled for the middle of March 2020; the same week that the initial COVID19 shutdowns went into effect in the US. The hospital went into lockdown mode during my surgery and the floor that I was recovering on was the designated COVID floor. I decided to fly home a few days after the surgery to minimize virus exposure as much as possible. I remained on bed rest for several months as I regained my strength and waited to see if the pain would return after the intravenous pain medications from the surgery had worn off. I can still remember the day I realized that the pain was almost completely gone. It was as if I had been given a second lease on life; a gift.
As I recovered, physical therapy centers in California were closed and remained so for months. I had to teach myself how to walk, and eventually run, again after years of limited mobility. I would sit outside for hours every day watching people run and walk by me. The progress was slow and it took a while to work up to a brisk walk, then a light jog, then a full run.
I am so glad that I never lost hope in a better outcome. Attitude is everything and I learned that if I were to regain my mobility, I would have to be my own best advocate.
The Pursuit of Dreams
I amputated my foot for the dream to run again, and I am so fortunate to be where I am today. My goal has always been to be a triathlete and to inspire others to turn their pain into their fuel. I also aim to give back to the adaptive community that has helped me out so much when I needed it and to also help promote an adaptive community in my new home of Cincinnati and expand from there. Pain has been my teacher and movement my therapy. If I can encourage others through my journey to never give up and to fight hard to manifest the best versions of themselves, I would consider that a great privilege.
My Support System
